OmGoodness, totally forgot I had this blog. I guess I'll try it again, maybe the third time will be a charm. It would be pointless to try to catch up with my life and try to smash 2 years in a blog post, either you know me and what's going on (and therefore have an interest in reading this) or you accidentally stumbled on my blog and really don't care.

I am turning the big 40 next week and having a minor (or major, it has yet to be determined) meltdown. Considering that we are having financial, health, housing, job, school, kid, and other problems, who wouldn't have a meltdown? I have the 50lbs to lose (baby weight I say as I get ready to send my last to kindergarten), need to really think about bone health, mammograms, several surgeries I have been putting off, the list goes on. Who knew that it was going to be such a stressor? I guess everyone feels this way, but no one likes to talk about it...at least publicly...

So as I turn 40, I have spent the last year dealing with my husbands brain tumor, surgery, and recovery, which continues to be rough and uneven, while dealing with loss of income and increased medical bills leading to bankruptcy and now foreclosure, leading to loss of our home. We have spent 10 months helping a crazy amish couple finish their house on the agreement we would lease to own, only to have them screw us over (along with a ton of other people, including their lawyer, the inspector, the contractor, etc)...I haven't gotten my health issues under control and I had hoped that I would be somewhat under control by 40..

So instead, I am going to consider turning 40 my starting point, the launching pad for the new path of my life, the new journey..now is probably the best time for major changes in my life, I'm motivated, I'm more introspective (is that a word?), and I'm being forced to make major changes anyway...

I hope to keep up with this blog, but I guess we'll see!

Barb

Some puppies photos and updates

OK, how do I get these photos to go in between the paragraphs and not all at the top? I really stink at this!!!

I don't know what is up with these blogs, but I keep having mine locked for personal spam? Huh? If a real person would actually look at them and see how utterly boring they are, they wouldn't be running around shutting them down. It's so damn annoying because there are so many truly offensive, pornographic ones around, I can't believe they keep bothering me. And some of the other breastfeeding ones. We wrote an article on one of my blogs, which Megan had written for her school project and read in front of the class and even the school superintendent and yet here, it was removed????? Get a grip! There were no obscenities, no racism, no pornography, no photos, but it was removed, I'm guessing because of the title alone, no one really took the time to actually read it or anything, how annoying!!!





I have not been able to sleep, now this isn't new, however, it's getting out of control now. It seems like my whole circadian rhythm is out of wack or something. Even if I do fall asleep, I am up in 2-3 hours and can't go back. And I am taking so many meds now to fall and stay asleep it's getting scary. When the hypnotics don't work, the klonipin isn't doing anything, all my herbal stuff like hops, valerian, even melatonin isn't working, I just don't know what to do. So if anyone has ideas, I am open to them. The doctors now tell me they don't think it's related to the pituitary tumor, but that's why they did the MRI in the first place, because my sleep study showed that my brain woke up 116 times in 6 hours! I didn't actually wake all the way up, but still no quality sleep, so the neurologist suspected a pituitary tumor, she said it was most likely "annoying" the hypothalamus and irritating it enough to keep waking me up. Now I'm being told no relation, hard to believe, why else would I be doing this? I thought it was stress or something, but I have been stressed my whole life, that's not new, LOL. And even days I don't feel stressed and am exhausted, I am still up!





Anyway, I am going to attempt to upload some of my new puppy photos! If you know anyone looking for a bernese mountain dog, these are wonderful puppies, we are going to be so sad to see them go, they are already horribly spoiled, they are carried around in the sling by the kids for heaven sakes and lay in their arms like little babies. It is going to be rough when we have to get rid of them. One of my moms friends want to trade a horse for one of the puppies, a dream come true for every little girl, but we just don't have the money to pay the board, so if anyone is looking for a nice horse, maybe we can arrange something! Or willing to board for us and you get to ride since we won't be there that often! You can also check out our website we made: Cavanaughberners.freehosting.net

WE have chicken pox! And Fish!

Not a surprise, we exposed them about 2 weeks ago. Apparently, Justin did have the chicken pox shot and I forgot, so he broke out with 3 chicken pox. Courtney, my 12yo also broke out with a couple, she also had the shot. My 2 year old did not have the shot, and he has a full blown case. He continues to break out with new ones, it seems every time we look at him there are new ones! He also has a nasty one on his privates, but surprisingly that one doesn't seem to bother him. the first night, we gave him benedryl and he slept great, but last night, he itched and stayed awake until 3am. Then woke up around 8, so he'll be crashing at some point today. We drugged him with all kinds of things, benedryl, rescue remedy, homeopathy, and caladryl lotion, plus a few aveeno baths, but he was miserable. I have to remember to take photos today for his baby book before they go away! The fact that we have to stay home more and can't all just run out has been a good thing, we are on a decluttering rampage, so this gives me more motivation to get that done!

We also have fish! I made the mistake of telling Justin I would consider letting him get fish. His sisters told him we had had mollies before and they give birth live to lots of little mollies, so that's what he wanted. so we pulled out an old aquarium and washed it out.

Well, as usual, once Justin gets a thought into his head, that's it. I mean, that is literally all he thinks about, he pestered all day, I thought I might have to ducktape his mouth (just kidding, kind of). Then my husband announced that we didn't really have the money until next paycheck, uh, yeah, that's going to work, I'm not living like this until next paycheck. So I told him we would go after dinner and get the supplies and fish.

Well, that didn't go so great. The guy walked us around explaining that we needed a bunch of gravel ($14), water salt, conditioner and food ($12), a filter ($22), a heater ($18), the fish ($12), a light ($15), then of course, we would need decorations, which cost about $6-$20 each, including those stupid plastic plants. the background, which my son was freaking about was going to be another $10. And that was just to get started.

So although I may be going to hell, I came up with an evil plan, I went over to the 12 cent goldfish and found the black and gold ones, Voila! Mollies! then I found one of those little kiddie tanks, a pirate one, perfect, I'm on a roll. We didn't need to buy any food, rocks, nothing, it was all included in the price and heck, at 12 cents per fish, I don't even mind how many we kill (which we will!). My son was thrilled with his new mollies and I was thrilled at the price. It's amazing how smart I can be under distress, my two older girls were with me and couldn't believe I was lying. I explained to them exactly how many times I have lied to them during their life! Come on, don't be so darn naive, parents lie to kids constantly, here are some of my favorite ones:

-McD's, sorry they are closed today due to: holiday, power outage, whatever
-Of course, parents lie at all major holidays, we even have a lepracaun (how the heck do you spell that anyways)!
-where do babies come from? that's always a good one to listen to parents explain to little ones
-what happened to that toy? (oh, you mean the one I trashed because it is loud and obnoxious? uh, give me a minute for that one)
-same with the clothes. After a while, that stupid stained shirt that is two sizes too small has to go, so I have to get creative, washer ate it, blah, blah, blah
-hey mom, how did we get the chicken pox (uh, your evil mom took you to get them!)


So, since I was up to 3am with an itchy baby, I am feeling a bit bitchy today and probably should take a nap! At least my family would probably appreciate it.

Musings as a patient, not impressed

I have been putting off this blog because I don't know where to start. There's so much to say, so much has happened, I feel like I could go on and on writing a book. So I guess the best thing to do is start at the end and work backwards.

I am experiencing a new life as a patient with a chronic illness. And it has scared me to death. Not because of the illness itself, or the treatments, or even the thought of death, but what has scared me is the exposure to the world of medicine I have had as a patient. Sure, I've seen the good, the bad, and the ugly as a nurse and a midwife. But when you are sick and vulnerable, it is amazing the verbal and mental abuse you are subjected to.

I am writing this speaking from someone with medical knowledge,I simply cannot imagine how many people have died from receiving poor treatment, people who were blown off, misdiagnosed, mismedicated, blown off, who either died or suffered because of it. the number must be simply staggering. And yet, we, as a whole put up with it. We forget we are hiring the doctors. We are the consumers, doctors are not god, they aren't better than us, smarter than us, it is simply their job. But many of them abuse that power and we stand by while grandma dies.

My experience today is such an amazing one, it's going to sound unbelievable. Iknow when it was happening and throughout the day I have been simply stunned, replaying the scene, trying to make sense. And I'm going to mention the doctor by name, hey, if he decides to prosecute for slander, I would love to go head to head. I already have the forms to file the complaint against him, so bring it on!!!

I saw this particular doctor, Dr. Behnke, of Cumberland Valley Endocrinology during my last pregnancy when I developed gestational diabetes and was put on insulin. We had a good relationship, I thought he did a great job and was pleased. I didn't need to see him since because my thyroid problem was stable on medication and my diabetes disappeared.

Then my health went downhill this fall. I will comment more on that later, that's a whole post or two itself, but basically I had to go to yale university to get some answers. And the doctors there were great, they did an amazing thing: THEY LOOKED AT MY MRI THEMSELVES AND LOOKED AT MY LABS! Wow, what an interesting concept. And the conclusion was made that my pituitary tumor, although small, is in a bad place, in the lower rear portion of the gland, where cortisol is produced. The endo there told me I was just unlucky because many people have these tumors and they are harmless.

Yale told me to follow up with a local endo, so I called Dr. Behnke back and made an appointment. When I saw him today, I had pulled out some letters from other doctors addressed to him, my mri reports, and hormonal lab work. Seems simple enough, I just need to take the medicine for now since surgery isn't really an option. I have developed diabetes insipidus, secondary adrenal insufficiency and my hashimotos antibodies are up. This appointment was to establish treatment with him to follow my meds and labs.

He didn't look at anything I gave him, told me he didn't understand "the whole Yale thing", and then wheeled himself over to me, and told me I should seek psychiatric care. Uh, what? OK, my first thought is that anyone going through hormonal issues and chronic issues might suffer depression and anxiety, maybe that's what he is talking about.

No,he thinks I am seeking attention,that I don't need an endo, I need a shrink. Wait, I say, did you see the notes, the lab results, the tumor. He begins to do probably the most annoying and patronizing thing any doctor has every done: He begins to shrug his shoulders with each question and say things like "i don't know", "what do you want me to do", "what do you think this means", OMG, what is going on.

here are the difficult questions I threw at him (remember, he is an endocrinologist, by definition someone who studies and treats the endocrine system!!!!!)
-He says why are you here, what do you want me to do? Very rude tone. I tell him what yale docs say about following with meds and labs. he tells me he doesn't know how to do that? OMG
-I ask how to know if my dose of hydrocortisone is right or needs adjusted, he shrugs and asks one of above questions.
-I ask about the DI and whether I should go on DDAVP, the standard treatment, recommended by Yale, he shrugs and tells me he knows nothing about DI and doesn't know what DDAVP is, IAM NOT MAKING THIS UP, I SWEAR
-He tells me that he would want to run all the labs again if I came to his care, I ask why,since I had them done, but if he felt it necessary, I would consent. He agains say maybe a psych consult would be more appropriate than an endo visit. I tell him the list of hormones the neurologist and yale said could be affected with pituitary misfunction: FH, LSH, Testosterone, Prolactin. Honest to God, he tells me his is not familiar with FH, or LSH, and doesn't understand why they would run a testosterone since I am a woman, now I am starting to think he is screwing with me because that's impossible he wouldn't know, so I decide to play the game and ask several more questions:
-what about growth hormone, should that be tested (over exaggerated shrug, "why, what do you think that means")
-ask him difference between addisons and secondary adrenal and how do I know my adrenals are OK (good question, I'm afraid I don't know, what do you want me to do?)
-tell him Yale mentioned a water deprivation test and wrote an order, did he want me to go ahead and do that or wait and do that with him (what's that test, why do you think you need that, I dont know why you would need that? for DI? I'm not familiar with that)

This goes on several minutes, I am so angry, I am ready to explode, cry,curse, I don't know what. But I tell him I will have the Yale docs send him a letter explaining their finding and recommendations (they can do that, but I don't understand what you want from me, what you are seeking here)

I tell him that I only have 30 days worth of hydrocortisone and need a refill, he says "if you really feel you need it, I guess I can give it to you", Huh, what am I? drug seeking, who the hell drug seeks for that?????

I tell him they increased my armour thyroid, he tells me he wants me on synthryoid, I remind him we tried that before in his office and my blood pressure kept going up, and didn't he write the script for synthyroid (why do you feel the need for armour? what are you looking for with that med?)


He tells me I am unstable to work,not because my health is in the toilet, but because he thinks I need to see a shrink and example the meaning of why I am doing this (uh, what, having a tumor? or autoimmune problems) and asks where I think Jesus fits in (whoa, there, buddy, where did that come from). I tell him I have a pastor who is helping my family deal with the spiritual realm, thank you, but what I really needed from him was meds!!!!

So that's it in a nutshell, I know those reading this are going to be like "no way, that's absurd". yeah, and either he was being an ass or he really doesn't know, either way, I am filing a complaint against him with the state board and the association of endocrinologists. I mean, if this is over his head, or he doesn't feel comfortable treating the complexity of it, say so, let me know, tell me that, but DO NOT treat me like a mental patient and then start shrugging and nodding like I am 2 years old.

My mother suggested that i take a tape recorder to all future doctor reports and a notebook, where I write their responses, obnoxious, yeah, maybe, but necessary, seems like it is absolutely necessary. I wasn't going to go back to him at all, but I think I will with tape recorder and my husband, it's amazing the difference in how I am treated when my husband is around, isn't that a sad, sad, thing. As a midwife, I encourage my patients to write down questions, I write out my instructions, give tons of handouts so they don't forget, and would have no problem with a tape recorder.

I seriously think that this illness and all these doctors (I have other horror stories I'll save for another day) are God's way of pushing me into becoming a family nurse practitioner to help others who are mistreated. Hasn't it always been throughout history, the hysterical woman will all the problems, including asthma as late as the 50's and 60's. That women are just fragile beings seeking attention at the doctors, incompetent of being able to judge their pain level, normal fatigue from abnormal. Why do we put up with that? We need to have a group, similar to PETA, a group for the ethical treatment of women, perhaps even volunteers to go with the elderly, mentally challenged, heck, even me, who will act as advocates.

I am totally OK with doctors who tell me they don't know what's wrong, who tell me they need to call another doc, or refer me, thanks for the honesty, i do the same thing. I don't expect doctors to have the answers or the magic pill, by dammit, I expect to get my money's worth during my 15 minute visit, and being made fun of is totally not appropriate.

If anyone reading this has copies of sample letters of complaints, organizations that advocate for patients in situations such as this or any other ideas, let me know!!!! I hate the idea of suing people, but unfortunately in this society, especially in the medical field, it seems the only time change is made is when someone is sued and exposed!!!

OK, that's plenty of reading for tonight for everyone. I hope to continue this saga, backwards over the next week or two, but I can't promise anything, I am not consistent, I know that.

TTYL,
Barb

The Chipmunk burial

I just realized I haven't posted all summer long! Not that my 2 readers (thanks mom) are probably staying up at night worrying what I have been up to. The general busy life of a midwife and mom!

I've decided to try to blog more on events which happen, those ones that are funny, sad, poignant, and need to be written down. Well, that's my goal anyway. so I will start with a funny, sad, and typical event for our family.

First of all, this story illustrates that our family can never, ever just blend. We aren't the kind of people who slip in and out the door somewhere unnoticed. No, if we are there, you will notice us. unfortunately, it's not the good things, it's usually because we are in some way standing out. Making a scene. making ourselves noticed. no, we can't just simply do things like everyone else.

This story is about a poor chipmunk and it's proper burial at sea. Don't believe me, somewhere I have pictures and as soon as I figure out hot to get them on here, I'll post for all to enjoy.

This happened in June when we were getting ready to go camping. In a tent. All 7 of us. No I wasn't drinking...yet...just packing what felt like my entire house into a 12 passenger van and a volvo. Because god forbid we should forget something. Hayley, 8 volunteered to walk our big dog, Tasha before we left. She came back about 15 minutes later, hysterical, I couldn't even understand what she was staying. She kept repeating" his family is going to be looking for him" "there's blood everywhere". Ok, um, I'm thinking, I really need you to slow down and elaborate, FAST, because I'm wondering what the heck her and the dog did in 15 minutes.

Turns out that at the end of the street, a poor chipmunk made the mistake of crossing my dogs path. hayley tried to pull back on the leash, but the dog weighs as much as she does and got ahold of the chipmunk and killed it. Hayley thought it was a baby squirrel and was totally traumatized by the event. the chipmunk was left lying on the side of the street.

When we finally got this out of her (and breathed a sigh of relief they hadn't killed anyone), my husband, in typical male fashion, said "oh well, it's a squirrel, let's get packing!". After trying hard to not beat him in the head with a gymbag, I explained how traumatic it was for her to see this assault and death.

Now, here's where it's starts to get weird, which in my family, is the expected norm. We can't just walk down the street and take a look. We have to march down in single file, with Hayley still sobbing big-breath stopping sobs, my five year old pretending to write something on his toy computer, my toddler running along wondering what all the excitement was about, and my older daughter (who is fascinated with dead things-don't ask) trying to get first glimpse.

As we get closer, everyone is breaking into a run to get the first look at dead squirrel. Which turns out to be dead chipmunk. So there's screaming, yelling, pushing, sobbing, neighbors staring checking their homeowners association policy to see if there's a clause against this...

And we find the poor little guy. didn't stand a chance. Cause of death is obvious tooth puntures to back of neck. We explain it's a chipmunk (well, his family is still wondering where he is, aren't they, mom, doesn't matter what he is? true, I guess) and try to decide, in the middle of the street, what to do with him (I say him, but I confess to not taking a more thorough look to determine this, didn't seem appropriate in the circumstances-and besides, I'm not a chipmunk cororner or anything).

we decide we will bring him home and bury him (yeah, that'll be a great idea, love to see the 3 dogs dig that back up). But how to carry him? My older daughter would love to just carry him and poke around at his dead body, but that doesn't seem sanitary. So, somehow, we decide to put him on the toy computer and take turns carrying him. My 5 year old goes first and carries it out in front while walking in slow motion. We all follow. OK, now the same neighbors are not finding us so amusing anymore, they've given up on being polite, they are just standing inthe yard staring and whispering. Hi, I yell over, we're having a new orleans style funeral, just couldn't find a jazz band. that helped. I'm sure we'll be invited over to the next pool party.

So, onward we go, fighting all the way! Who gets to hold dead chipmunk on the computer? We all take turns, I give up my turn and let Hayley have a double since, technically, it's her dead chipmunk.

and we arrive back in the drive, where my husband is trying to force 6 bikes, 2 scooters, skates, helmets, 1/2 bike and stroller into the small space behind seat (that's funny too, wish I had a camera). He's THRILLED to see us in a procession with dead chipmunk. What the hell are you going to do with that??? Uh, bury it, dumb ass, what do you think?

Obviously, we can't bury it now, that requires a bunch of digging, so we find a shoebox, tissue paper, some flowers, and a card, which hayley writes out and puts in box. And we set it by the tree while we get ready.

Now it's time to go camping (dear god, what am I thinking???). Hayley is hysterical, can't leave dead chipmunk all weekend, now can we. So I do what I find amusing, even more so because I know my husband will find it so totally NOT amusing, and I give permission to bring dead chipmunk to the campground. Maybe we can find a place to bury it there. But here's the kicker: I don't tell husband, since we are driving separate and hayley is riding with him, I just tell her to keep box on her lap for trip. I see the car pull out, drive about 2 houses,reverse, window down, "what the hell is going on?". yeah, I'm amused!

So the chipmunk lives under a tree while we camp. I give out and when darkness comes and my toddler won't stop playing by the fire, running into other sites and causing problems, I come home. Have fun, honey!

Next day, we decide something should be done about dead chipmunk. and Hayley comes up with the idea of dumping into the lake. Perfect! burial at sea, great idea. I wish I could torch it and send it on it's way at sunset as some sort of Viking tribute, but I decide against it.

So we did what any normal family would do. We got our bible, camera, and found a perfect location across the street (yeah, we were roughing it, there were streets in the campground)at another empty campsite which was next to the lake. We climbed down the rocks, sang hymns, made a procession (fighting loudly the whole time over whose turn it was to hold dead chipmunk)and read psalm 23. We were taking our time, until another girl came by and announced they had just seen a huge snake on the rock we were on, which sent my ever so brave teen about 20 feet away in 2.3 seconds. Now we needed to speed it up a bit, although, hey, if the snake came close, we could always offer a dead chipmunk...

hayley was supposed to dump the dead chipmunk in the water, but freaked about the snake and put the box in, and pushed off. No, not the whole box, damn, tha'ts littering! We tried to get it back,no luck. I'm yelling at brave teen to get her @ss over here and take some photos, she's in the middle of the street yelling what a bunch of nuts we are and she's not getting close to a snake over a dead chipmunk burial, hayley's on top of the rock giving an eulogy, which then made her brother want to give one, I'm trying hard not to laugh...

but does the box sink? No, amazingly, we watch it head out to the middle of the lake and make its way over to the other side. Note to self: Sketcher boxes are sturdy and apparently waterproof incase I need that info at a later time. Oh, god, it hits me. Some poor kid at the other side of the campground is going to see this floating box, run to fetch it, and open it up to see....2 day old dead chipmunk...oh my gosh...that's not very nice! The trauma for that poor family.

but at least no one will no it was us. no fines for littering...i begin to get the giggles, even more so when my teen demands she wants no part in this...don't worry...no one will know who did it.

Uh, well, that is, until hayley chimes in: don't worry, mom, on my note, I put our name and address so that God knows who sent the chipmunk to him.

Oh, good, glad you thought through all the details.

so far, so good, no dead chipmunk reports have been issued, I think we are safe.

Just a quick update into my life...let's see..broke my big toe, not feeling so hot, but could be worse. I'm a bad patient and have no desire to wear a cast or hobble around in the soft cast/boot. so I manage.

trying to hire another midwife, i really need some help and someone else to take some of the pressure off. I am getting pretty busy in several amish and mennonite communities, I am thrilled because I love working with the plain people. i think they have so much to teach us "english" women and society, I know that everytime I visit their homes, I feel peaceful and welcome.

We are becoming very interested in learning more about community/co-housing type living. For us, the appeal is the fact that right now we do everything by ourselves mostly. I have 2 ads out there for a part time babysitter while I am seeing clients, no bites yet. And on Sunday my 8 yo dd called at least 10 friends to set up playdates for the week, but no one was around. We would love to be able to have community dinners especially at the holidays which we generally spend alone, be able to walk to one anothers homes, help each other with housework, garden work, home projects, babysitting, cooking, and generally just hanging out.

We have tried to organize some of this stuff before, but not much success. people are just too busy and don't seem interested. I would love to hear from others who are already doing this, so if you are or know of websites, send me a note! We would love to be able to recreate the process here, we hate to move we are settled, have friends, have 2 great jobs.

also, I am going to try to keep a blog (which will be private for now until i get editing done) which will be a journal of my experiences as a midwife, my work with the plain, that kind of stuff. i have felt called to do that for several years, but haven't had the confidence, the time, and honestly, the motivation. Why now? I don't really know, just feel it is the right time to get started.

So that's a brief look at what's going on in my life. We are really enjoying the summer, trying to get to the pool, camping, park, lots of ritas' italian icees, fun stuff. Havne't been brave enough to venture far though, and not to an amusement park yet. With an almost 2, we like the closer, simpler things for now. Saves on gas, my sanity, and my nerves!!!

happy fourth of july! Be careful with the fireworks, those things make me soosooo nervous!

What's up...me, again, too late!

So, although i am totally exhausted, getting less than 6 hours of sleep and missing my beloved nap, I am wide awake again. I am going to be pretty cranky in the morning.

I am getting up extra early to try to race around and squeeze in 3 prenatals (which aren't even close) and take my girls horsebacking riding on the trails at Gettysburg. it is something we have wanted to do for years.

shhhh...don't tell the people at the stables I have abroken big toe and should be wearing my soft cast, that's my little secret. I'm not going to put this off again, what could go wrong (well, except falling off the horse, etc. etc.)

I am getting so busy with my midwifery. I will discuss it later (hey, isn't anyone reading this, or am I just talking to myself?????), I don't mean to complain, I am getting exactly what I wanted, having beautiful births, great midwives helping me out. But I am a worrier and I worry about my moms, my babies, my paperwork, the time I am away from home, my finances, everything. The emotional toll of all that worrying is really killing me. Anyone who is reading this (besides you, mom!) who has some advice, i would love to hear it.

It is so sad to even hear the news, what's up with all the dead moms? On my mothering site, I heard about a young mom who died of cancer with young children, one who is also sick and really needs his mommy. Another mom, a midwife (which really, really hits home) died after developing eclampsia, new baby, no mom. And of course, the pregnant mom and baby who were killed. Oh, almost forgot the dad who killed his wife and 3 children. Just so sad, it makes me really stop and think that it could be me, I could leave my children or they could leave me. I am not afraid of dying at all, but I am terrified of having to leave my children and having them grow up without a mom.

Pretty good mood I'm in here at 1am. I should just go to bed. But between my restless legs which are kicking up (literally) and my throbbing toe and that diet soda I should not have drank, here I am.

LLL has contacted me again about speaking at the area conference and doing a session on Parenting and Humor. I would love to do this, but I am totally drawing a blank as to how to fill a whole hour, have funny things to say and do. So again, anyone reading this (OK, mom you can now comment) please feel free to offer me your advice!

I am going to try to go to bed. Count sheep or something. Or pregnant ladies having nice homebirths. or chocolate (I recently tested positive for allergies to chocolate, so I dream about it alot, even though i can't consciously say I am even missing it!)

Good night!